Interview: Alexandra Mileva Their souls
Stela Daskalova is a writer. She is the author of “Everything Begins with Childhood,” “What Happens With Love,” and her most recent work: “Every Child is a Hero.” I decided to interview Stella Daskalova on St.Valentine’s Day because she knows what love is, not only intimate love, but also love for ourselves and surrounding world.
Using Stela’s own words, I would like everyone to love more and to read at least one of her three books, because they provide valuable answers to your questions!
Stela, as a writer you have published an entire book about love – how would you sum up what love is?
Love is the meaning. When we love, we feel that we are really alive. Our ability to love is the key to happiness, harmony and success. In difficult situations, love is the energy which always gives us the right solution. People, however, have many prejudices, fears and negative beliefs about love. These can cause suffering, misunderstanding or the rejection of love. In my book “What Happens With Love?” I write about the delusions and fears that prevent us from loving ourselves freely and being happy.
How does love affect us? What are we when we love?
Love is the driving force of our personal development and the most powerful motivation for life. When we love, we can easily overcome our own limitations, unlock our potential and we will surprised at how much potential we have. The most important type of love is the love for yourself. However, a lot of people have not developed this, due to a lack of sufficient love from their parents. People who do not love themselves are so hungry for love that when they fall in love they form a dependency. And dependent love leads to pain and suffering. So people who love themselves are happy when they fall in love. People who do not love themselves experience fear, jealousy, and a sense of inferiority when they fall in love.
It is said that love can cure any illness. Is this only true of intimate love?
When we develop personally and spiritually, we expand our notion of love, and we become able to sense it in different forms and levels. The more love we have in our lives beyond our intimate relationship, the more harmonious and wonderful it will be. Many people do not realize how important it is to surround themselves with people and things they love. in order to be healthy and happy. However, they do not realize they always have a choice. It is important that we love our work, love our friends and the people we encounter in our lives, we need to love the home we live in, and to love our country. Even the coffee we buy needs to be our favourite. We should not buy what is on sale at a reduced price. When we make our choices with love, we show understanding, self-respect and love for ourselves. In this way we can achieve the best version of ourselves, inner harmony and we begin to love our lives. Internal harmony is our natural state, and it is good for our own health.
Is there any point in St.Valentine’s Day? Why do we need dates to remind us that someone is special, and that we mean something to them?
Celebration is a way of showing gratitude to the universe, and to life. I like all holidays and the more, the better. Everyone has the right to celebrate or not to celebrate. If you don’t celebrate St. Valentine’s day, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re unaware of love during the rest of the time.
When do you celebrate love yourself? Do you need a date or do you try to demonstrate your love every day?
I celebrate love on St.Valentine’s and all the other days of the year. Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, and others are also festivals of love. I tell the people I love that I love them almost every day. I even say “I love you” to our lovely Labrador. And they tell me that they love me every day. I think that a day without love is a wasted day and I really feel for people who live without love. Everyone deserves to be loved and happy. They should not resign themselves to living without love and happiness. However, everyone needs to know that these are things they have to sense within themselves first of all, and to give in order to receive.
Do you think that it’s getting harder to find someone we can say “I love you” to?
No, I don’t think so. People nowadays are becoming increasing self-aware and emotionally intelligent. Our parents were much more timid and more prejudiced about manifestations of love that we are. Of course, today, there still are people who are overcome by their fears, and don’t dare show their feelings, as well as people who have not developed their ability to love due to a lack of love in their childhood. However, as I write in my book, love is psychotherapy, and these emotionally “locked-in” people can “unlock” themselves, if they encounter bold and unconditional love.
Let’s talk about your books … You have written three. Are you thinking about the next one, and what the subject will be?
I write my books with lots of love and with all my soul … And this love gives me much so much back in return from my readers. It’s becoming a common occurrence for a stranger to come up to me and ask me for a hug. There is so much love and gratitude in the eyes of these people! I am delighted that through my books I have been contacted by such wonderful, spiritually developed people. Yes, I have an idea for my next book, but it’s too early to talk about it. I only write when I have inspiration and when I have something to say, which is different from what has been written so far. That’s why I don’t commit myself to deadlines.
How did you start writing?
When I felt I had reached the insights I wanted to share. For me, writing is like breathing or swimming. I’m in my own depth, in my comfort zone where no effort is required … it just happens. I am grateful to the Universe for the help it gives me. It is something I always feel whenever I create. I can say I’m in love with my work …
What do you feel in your soul when you wake up in the morning?
Joy, gratitude, enthusiasm … I love having coffee in the sun in my garden in the morning even in the winter. I enjoy the sky and the birds that sing, our lovely Labrador Kiara, who is like a soft ball of love ball. Dogs can love unconditionally – and even if you forget to feed them, they will still love you. I am grateful to my daughter that she was so persistent in asking me to get a puppy. And I fell so astonishingly and deeply in love with her.