“The secret of change is to focus your whole energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. ”


When you don’t like the end of a story in your life, you can always write a continuation. We often think it’s difficult to change the circumstances of our lives – our work, our environment, our habits, so we don’t even try. We continue to live in a state of dissatisfaction, we waste energy every day in disapproval, dissatisfaction, self-pity. We waste our energy by constantly complaining, and this complicates our lives further. When we listen to our own complaints, we see ourselves in the role assigned to us in a scenario we don’t like,  even though we wrote it ourselves.

I often meet people who complain, but when I suggest they make a change and they either tell me it’s impossible and there’s no point, or they change the subject to avoid thinking about change. The fear of change is subconscious and reveals a lack of faith in one’s own abilities and strength. People who are afraid to make changes in their lives are convinced everything is defined by circumstances and that their will is a secondary factor. When they were young they probably had no choice, and they grew up with the attitude that they had to adapt to situations, and not let themselves go beyond their limits.

If we wait for the ideal government, the ideal economic situation, the ideal boss, the ideal partner, just  to be happy, we will miss out on happiness in our lives.

What life has taught me (and of course, the books I have read, which also contain lessons that their authors have learned from life) is that if something makes me unhappy, I have to change it. If I can’t change it, I can distance myself from it, I can minimize its presence in my life, I can totally ignore it or change my attitude towards it, so that I don’t let it take away my happiness any more.

Change doesn’t happen when we simply criticize and deny what we don’t like. We need to create an alternative, and build what we like and what we want. Fighting the old is pointless. When the new comes, and it is better and more valuable, the old will naturally be displaced.

Most battles are a waste of energy. Especially when there’s no better alternative.

To complain and put up with things you can’t change is stupid and masochistic. It’s like stealing from your own happiness.

The impossibility of change is often an illusion – the result of restrictive beliefs and fears. What is impossible for one person is entirely possible for another. So if we want to change something, but we are powerless to do so, we need to change ourselves first. When we change, the whole world around us changes as well. When we achieve inner harmony, we see that our surroundings also become more harmonious.

We are all one. The processes happening to us spreading in a concentric progression around us. Every one of our thoughts rearranges the universe, each of our actions leads to other actions like a chain reaction. Awareness of this interconnection is an important condition for us to take responsibility for our lives.