In the life of each of us there are those people who give us wings and those who cut our wings. People who try to break us do this because they feel broken. However, whether we will allow this to happen to us depends on us.
When someone shows us directly (and indirectly) that they don’t like us…everything is alright. This just means that we are different. People have different beliefs, values and notions about life. Even the most charismatic, successful and good-hearted people are not liked by everybody.
And yet, in most cases, when someone is hostile towards us, we are inclined to search for the reason in our shortcomings or in our approach to them. We remain with the bitter feeling that something is wrong with us. We feel hurt and we begin to doubt our own worth. The more people like these we let into our environment, the more our level of self-confidence drops. In most cases, we don’t even realize this.
We have the absolute right to choose who will participate in our life, in what way and to what extent. The strange thing is we often try to win exactly those people who underappreciate us and ignore us. Maybe because we are trying to prove them wrong.
However, the more efforts we are making to make somebody like us, the less they respect and value us.
The desire to be liked by people who obviously do not like us is rather silly and fruitless. And what we can do is just accept that we are absolutely OK if somebody doesn’t like us and realize that this person is simply not a suitable company for us. And we are not for them, either.
It is normal and inevitable that there are people who don’t like us. In fact, the reasons for this, in most cases, are connected with the state of the person who doesn’t like us. The motives for their hostility may be even nurtured by our positive qualities.
What may be the reasons why somebody doesn’t like us? Here are some of them:
We have different beliefs, values and way of life
There is something in us that resembles someone who hurt the other person in the past
Our social and financial status is different than the other person’s status
We have strong personality characteristics which the other person hasn’t developed
Our level of sensitivity and emotional expression is different than theirs
We have said something that was interpreted wrongly
We say the truth even when it is uncomfortable
We are not afraid to say “no”
We are different than most people
We have a high level of self-worth
Certainly, there are numerous other reasons why somebody may not like us and they may have nothing to do with our own shortcomings but actually they may be related to qualities that make us strong and valuable people.
When we exclude the cases in which we have treated the other person badly (rudely, aggressively), in all other cases, the reason for somebody’s hostility towards us lies in him.
Striving to meet everyone’s expectations is a behavior model we learnt in our childhood. The belief that we deserve love and respect only if we please others is wrong and it is one of the reasons why we attract people who treat us badly. If we have to make a lot of efforts to win somebody’s love or respect, most probably, this person is not aware enough to appreciate our efforts.
There is a theory that every person turns into the arithmetical mean of the five people who this person communicates with the most in their daily life. It sounds logical and true. Because all our relationships are an exchange of energy and ideas which inevitably leaves a trace in us. Our relationships with the others imperceptibly shape us in some way. By choosing to communicate mainly with people who support us and with whom we can enjoy life, we actually choose to be a higher version of ourselves, to grow and feel good.
Read more
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- Don’t Postpone for Tomorrow Something That Can Bring You Joy Today!
- How Important Is It to Be Right?
- Love is Psychotherapy
- Love your dream
- Someone Doesn’t Like You…Everything Is Alright!
- Truth Is a Variable Quantity
- When someone doesn’t believe in you, don’t try to prove yourself to them
- When you don’t like something in your life, change it!
Stela Daskalova is one of the most successful writers in the nonfiction genre in Bulgaria. Her three books are bestsellers in the nonfiction genre for publishing house Ciela – the biggest publishing house in Bulgaria. 