It is not love that “spoils” children, but the inability of parents to set boundaries and to be consistent when they introduce rules. Many parents mistakenly believe that strictness is the only way to gain the respect of their children. However, boundaries and rules can be asserted much more effectively with love and calmness than by aggression.
Often parents give signals of weakness and uncertainty without realizing it. These signals include unfulfilled promises, neglecting your own principles and interests, complaining and grumbling, and parental aggression. When children intuitively feel that the parent is weak, they unconsciously begin to look for boundaries and manipulate them, while at the same time feeling anxious and unprotected. “Spoiled” children are confused and uncertain, they do not feel the support of their parents. So they are often nervous and unpredictable. Children unconsciously test their parents to check their strength.
Parents who have strong personalities speak calmly, without imposing a sense of guilt or fear upon their children. Peace is strength and good energy which always leads to good results. Patience is the manifestation of the same good energy and allows situations to develop naturally in a positive way.
The more relaxed and patient we are towards our children, the easier we will achieve understanding and awareness on their part. Conversely, if we make any hasty and forceful demand of them, this will lead to internal resistance.